Casual Dating and Relationships
this article is about casual relationships, how positive they are.
It’s Friday night, For older generations, Friday night in college was date night. Now, Friday night is dance club night, party night, movie night or whatever night students want it to be. There’s a big, obvious reason behind the downfall of dating: it’s called hooking up “sex dating“.
Today’s college students live in a hookup culture marked by casual sexual encounters – hookups – often accompanied with a “No Strings Dating” attitude. As a result, old-fashioned dating has fallen by the wayside.
Let’s face it, the best part about seduction, and I would guess the main reason why we are all here, is not approaching countless women in bars and streets, nor is it spending hours texting women you haven’t met.
It’s not getting numbers, Facebook contacts, or even make-outs.
It’s about what happens next: sex; intimacy; connection. And even if you’re a player-grandiose and take pride in the notches you are racking up every weekend, chances are, eventually you will find a woman (or women), whom you enjoy having sex with and spending time with so much that you would love to do so again and again with her – of course, without sacrificing the freedom and pleasure of sleeping with other women and sexual variety in general.
Having such women, such an unwritten arrangement in life, has always been the end goal for me and I’m happy to say that, with occasional slip-ups and ups and downs, this has been the case for a few years now.
Maybe you’ve just gotten out of a relationship and the last thing you want is to jump on that particular horse again. Or maybe you’ve been a devoted reader of this site and now that you’re having some success, you’re feeling like a kid in the candy store and want to explore your options for a while. Or maybe you’re just a serial dater; you’re in it for the rush, that new relationship energy, the passion and the thrill of sexual novelty. Or maybe you’ve decided that you’d rather have a few people you see on a semi-regular basis instead of just one monogamous partner.
Whatever the reason, many people are more interested in a casual relationship than they are in something committed or long-term. The problem is that they often forget that casual relationships require maintenance and effort, the same as a relationship leading towards commitment. Just because there are no strings attached doesn’t mean that it’s a free-for-all. It’s easy for lines to get blurred and feelings to be hurt. If you want a successful casual hook-up, then you want to understand how to keep things straight forward and appealing to everybody involved.
Casual Relationships Have Rules :
The first and most important rule is that everybody has to be on the exact same page. Just because the relationship is casual doesn’t mean it’s OK to play with somebody’s expectations or treat their emotions like your personal chew toy. Not having any strings isn’t a license to be an asshole or a player or to coast along past any misunderstandings or miscommunications. You’re still dealing with a person, not a sex toy. It’s important to establish from the outset that this is a casual arrangement and that neither of you are expecting more out of it. Depending on the personalities involved, this may be something as simple as saying “you know this isn’t serious, right?” or a carefully negotiated contract stipulating what is and isn’t permissible.
It’s worth noting: the point of having and maintaining strong boundaries isn’t because people are going to try to trick you if you let you guard down. It’s about avoiding unnecessary heartache and tragedy. Strong boundaries and clear communication make for strong relationships – even casual ones. And a strong relationship can maintain its core affection even through the rough times. Casual relationships by their nature are short-lived and ephemeral… but that doesn’t mean that ending them needs to be about heartbreak and bad feelings. In fact, a casual sexual relationship can end up being the basis for an incredible and intimate friendship. But whether you end up as friends or something more, careful relationship maintenance can keep things light, happy and enjoyable for everybody.